Getting Ready

This longest I've ever lived outside the US was in Barcelona, Spain for one month for a study abroad, so there was a lot on confussion that went along with the prlimiary of this position, both emotionally and technically.

I applied for the job and was accepted for the position within three days of finding out about it, and then had to fly out three weeks later.  On an excited, adventurous whim, I decided to just accept it and go with it.  I initially had to acknowledge and come to terms with my not being able to bring my dog, Uhura, with me at the time.  Actually, putting a dog on a plane didn't seem like a good idea in general, because it could either create serious emotional issues for the dog or kill it.  Everything I've heard about dogs in Honduras was that they're mostly street dogs, a lot with vagina disease, and most people don't have dogs as pets, so it was be more out of the ordinary to have her there.  That and I'm going to be so busy with my job, I wouldn't be able to give her the love and attention she needs.  I knew I was going to miss her a lot for months at a time, but fortunately both my parents and my sister offered to take her in my absence, and I would be able to see her when I came back for the Christmas and New Year break.

After about a week of communicating with the owners of the school and signing the contract, I realized that one of the classes I'm going to be teaching, Physics grade 12, was one I would not be able to teach to the ability that the students deserved (and from experience with not-so-good physics teachers, I knew this was not acceptable).  I do have experience teaching, but it has always been in biology, which is a subject I understand very deeply, and would have been able to answer any questions that came up.  So I knew I wasn't going to be able to teach physics, were I have the most basic, and probably sometimes incorrect, understanding of the subject.  That plus the fear of not being ready for such a life experience caused me to seriously consider turning down the opportunity and going with something else.

I realized, though, that every single other opportunity in the US, even those that I dreamed about and even those that if I have all the money and resources I didn't currently have, wouldn't have been as meaningful or special to me at this point.  I have already pictured myself there, knew what to expect, more or less, and the thought of doing something else was shallow.  And the thing is, when times get hard and you miss home or your friends, you need to not have any regrets.  And so I made the choice to go.

I'm very glad, though, that I had this time to reconsider, especially since it happened so fast.  It gave me the oportunity to think about my values and what I wanted for my life, and to ask questions that were really important to the experience.  And since I had the time and forethought to ask those questions, I was able to work with the owner of Day-Star School to create a schedule that I didn't only feeling comfortable with but am excited about.

However, this did put the crunch on to get the paperwork situation, which is hard because I still am working almost full time at my current position.  What made it even harder is that I am coming from a small town that doesn't have too much in it, and had to drive an hour to get some of the paperwork done... This is more a bummer when you think you know what you're doing but a professional says that it is unnecessary only to find out it was after driving an hour and you can't get it done the day you plan.  My boss is very understanding, though, and very excited for me, which makes this so much easier.  I'm going to be able to take half a day off to deal with the rest of what I need to deal with and it'll work out.

If a person is experienced leaving the country and knows what to do in all aspects, this is not an issue.  Frankly, I was very overwhelmed figuring this out, however straightforward it ended up being. But I think that is just part of it.  Studying abroad, they give you all the information you need and walk you through the process. Day-Star did a great job with this, too, but having a week to do everything makes it a lot more stressful, and I definitely felt that.

Other than getting this paperwork finished, and getting pictures and all that you need for a job abroad and traveling abroad in general, I'm going to have to get my dog's paperwork from her vet, which of course is in a different city than who will be holding her is in.  Shouldn't be hard, but is just one more thing to do less than a week before my fight.

But I've come to realize in recent years that there is no reason to stress out about this kind of thing.  It's only hard when you do stress about it.  And you know what?  Life is going to go on no matter what.  If you disappoint yourself or someone else in the process, that's a bummer, but you just have to take the next step and take things as they come.  I know how cliche that sounds, but it really is an excellent way to view life.  And if you actively have this mindset, getting things done will never be stressful because the point is to have an excellent life experience, not to be stressed or prove yourself to others.  It's easier said than done, but if it's something you really want to do for the action or for what the action will take you to, stress should not be an aspect of that experience.